trampledamage: My daughter's Squishmallow, a giraffe named Gary, being held up into the sky (Default)
trampledamage ([personal profile] trampledamage) wrote2024-07-05 01:08 pm
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For Real - Toby is autistic / has ADHD

Finally got my hands on the annotated edition of For Real, and I was really hoping that either after the Ted Hughes poem conversation or after the beginning of the 70% nadir when Toby is reminded of all the school reports 'Tobemory is clever but doesn't apply himself', there'd be a footnote saying that Toby has undiagnosed autism or ADHD. But there isn't, unless it's later that I've got to.

It broke my heart the first time I read the book, and made For Real the only Spires story I haven't read multiple times because I want to scream that someone at his school should have noticed and helped him.

I'm autistic, my wife has ADHD and our kids have both to varying degrees and expression. The Ted Hughes zoo poem question is an expression of autistic thinking that I see in my son. The premise of the question is wrong, therefore he will not answer it. He will not / cannot accept the idea of 'just write something anyway', it is wrong and that's the end of it. Autistic thinking tends to be rigid in terms of right and wrong, which makes autistic people strong advocates for justice, but means they do not bend even for something as trivial but important as an exam asking a banal question about zoo animals.

Toby's ADHD expression is more obvious, 'clever but doesn't apply himself' is textbook ADHD behaviour, which is why I was so  angry on Toby's behalf. He needed someone to fight for him at school and he got no help. I'm glad he has Laurie now, and they manage to work their way through. But still, I want to shout at his teachers - they're meant to be trained in this sort of thing these days.

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